From Crete

I'm in Greece now and enjoying it greatly. The food is great, the sun is sunny, and the sounds are muzaky. But the thing I love best is the awkward English syntax so many Greek advertisments/signs contain. It's lovely. Here an example:

Below are instructions from our hotel in Chania, Crete.Fire

Proofer Instructions for the Tenants

a)Advice the plan which is in front of you in board where are marked exits, the corridors, the place of the portable fire engines, etr.
b) Ask what the signs mean, where are located at the corridors on each exit, elevators, etr.c) When the alarm system rings for fire don't be in panic, keep calm and follow the istructions.d) When you realize that there is fire inform the staff of the hotel in the best possible way and if you are capable act for extinction with fire engines.
e) Follow the instructions which you are listening from microphones.
f) Don't use the elevators in case of fire explotion, but the steps.
g) We inform you that it is not allowed to use spirit lamp stoves in the room, or other heat apparatus of open (unprotected) flame.
h) When you leave the room please check if there are, lighted cigarettes left or any other electric apparatus on.